Thursday, November 22, 2012

Loss and Lost

     I recently lost someone that I loved; Ali's death was unexpected. I felt as if my heart was being ripped from my chest and I was powerless in stopping the pain. It was not as if I had not experienced the sting of losing a loved one before, I lost a brother, father and mother; I was with them when they took their last breath. It was different with Ali, he had not been ill, he was strong, energetic and full of life....then gone with no warning. He was a prolific wordsmith that had a searing passion in waking up the masses to change their course in life. He hated the ugliness, the greed, and selfish acts that has consumed this world. He made no apologies to any that were offended by the truth. To many, he came across as being arrogant and rude. Yet, to those few who accepted him into their world, he had a heart full of love and compassion. He would send kisses, love and hugs to all he communicated with each and everyday. 
     He took me into his heart at a time when I feared life itself. He brought me from a dark place in my life that had become my safe haven. He taught me how to breath again, how to feel and love. It was not an easy endeavor, yet he never let go of my hand even when I fought to let go. His words echoes in my ear..."I would rather die with you, that to live without you."Now he's gone, and the most tragic of all, I was not with him. I can never forgive myself for that. There's no medication, no name or cure for the pain that has become my second skin; I am lost without him, I am devastated and homeless in my home.

Revelation 21:4 “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” (NIV)


  1. So sorry for your loss & for your pain Nicole.
    I know there really isn't much that I can say or do, but if there is please let me know.
    Love you,

  2. ...dunno what to say; words would not suffice at this time, anyway

    blessings to you, my dear friend